Shattered
by Dawn's Dusk Dragon Child
Summary: Writted by Maya...About Hiei, as usual. He is depressed, lonely, and Maya has beed gone for 3 years. Not a good combination for our favorite little fire demon. I suck at summerys. just RandR.
1. prolougue

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, I only write it.  
  
Writer: Maya  
  
Point of view: A note from Hiei: Links of a chain  
  
Title: Shattered Prologue  
  
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Why is there so much death and hate? Why do we criticize God for what we don't have, or what we have, for that matter? Why must people think of themselves all day long? Why must people suffer? And why, why do people only see what they want too?  
  
The answer is simple. They don't want to change their thoughts. They don't want to bring thought and understanding to our world. I can't answer why people suffer, but we all blame God because we know what we want, and it would be so much easier to wish upon a shooting star than to work. And if we don't work, we won't have what we want. God doesn't grant wishes or favor certain people over us. The people who get good things do the work as best as they possibly can which makes all the difference. Please, do not follow the chain of others, make a new colorful link and break away from the plain grey ones. That is why those people looked to be 'favored'. But in truth, they just make different colors happen.  
  
But some people lie about it and paint their link a different color. They go to what you humans call church and act all holy. But do they really believe? Do they know the consequences? Or do they just paint the link and keep moving with the rest of the grey ones?  
  
In truth my friend, all that I am saying is learn about what you do. Don't follow someone else's path when you can make your own. Don't be an ordinary, grey link. Of course this could just be another raving of the fire Yokai you know as Hiei. Read and either get an understanding or move on and don't regret what you did. It is your will.  
  
Hiei  
  
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	2. I Cannot Cry I Dare Not Cry

Disclaimer: I don't own it, I'm just speaking in my own way.  
  
Writer: Maya  
  
Point of view: Hiei  
  
Title: Shattered- Chapter 1  
  
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I push myself closer to the wall shivering. I didn't even know I could go back any further. The wall and I became one. Closer, I became the wall. Not feeling, not thinking. Trying to stay emotionless as possible.  
  
"Hiei?" The familiar voice of my fox friend lingered in the air.  
  
I wrapped my arms around myself. I was hugging so I would have to think about it any more. I needed comfort, I needed someone, anyone. But not that I would want to reveal that. My nails were digging into my skin and I felt blood trail down my arms. Strangely enough, it didn't hurt, on the outside at least...  
  
Should I cry? No, no. I couldn't. It would be over and horrors if I did. Why couldn't this sadness just end? Why must this go on? Why didn't this just end? Why did Muruko have to bring me back? She just had to make matters worse...  
  
Kurama's footsteps stopped outside my door. He knew I was here. I held my breath and pushed back to the corner more. There was no where to go. I was trapped. Trapped in darkness forever. Only to be pulled into a world of shit. I couldn't continue like this. But then again, what else was I suppose to do? What else could I do?  
  
I closed my eyes as the door opened. I wish Kurama could learn how to just leave me alone.  
  
"Hiei? What are you doing in here?" My best friends voice asked. It was comforting. I didn't deserve comfort for anything that happened to me. I wasn't good enough for that.  
  
"Hn." I said in my normal tone of voice, "Leave me alone Kurama."  
  
"Hiei?! What are you doing? Why is there blood all over your arms?" Kurama asked ignoring my last plea of sanity. He sounded worried. Worried for me. Why? He just didn't get that I wasn't worth caring over. It was like his brain couldn't understand the fact that something was worthless. Namely me...  
  
"It's nothing..." I trailed off.  
  
"Yes it is Hiei. How long have you been up here?" he questioned.  
  
"Kurama!" I snapped, "Don't worry about it."  
  
He studied me. His eyes went up and down my figure trying to see what I was hiding. I hate it when he did this. He can guess almost anyone's emotion like this. I gave him a blank, bored look which would hopefully throw him off.  
  
"Leave me be Kurama." I said loudly.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked hopeful. Pitiful hopes Kurama. He spent to much time in a human body.  
  
My gaze went from him to the wall.  
  
"I'll be down stairs Hiei." He said over his shoulder.  
  
He shut the door and I heard his footsteps go away. He couldn't help... Good. I couldn't put my problems on his head no matter what he thinks, no matter what anyone thinks.  
  
I crawled into the middle of the room staying as close to the floor as I could get. I sat there staring at myself in the mirror on the other side of the room. Crap,... I was worthless and pathetic.  
  
I was now skinny from not eating for days. I was tired and my eyes showed it. And I couldn't escape. Even in my dreams, or nightmares. My arms were now bloody but had scars, scratches, and sores on them.  
  
Everything dear was gone. My sister, my... friends, no, I didn't have friends. I was alone in a cruel world. Alone. And Yukina, the fool proposed to her... my sister was lost and gone... My mother's tear gem was... lost. It was gone. It probably shattered at my touch... Muruko was upset with me and I would probably never get her trust back. Maya had been gone for over two years now... I was losing everything.  
  
I started coughing and blood poured from my mouth. The smell of alcohol was in the air. That was the only thing that had been in my stomach for days. I looked queerly at the floor where the concoction lay. This was bad.  
  
Why Yukina, why? No, this wasn't her fault. It was either mine, or that fools fault. More or less it was both of are faults. Why did this torture continue? I could have asked Muruko that a couple years ago but I stayed silent.  
  
I stood up and walked over to the mirror. I peered in at the rags my body had become. My eyes which were once trusting(that was a long, long time ago) had turned to stone. Filled with destruction. Hatred for me and my life filled them. The mirror shattered. I looked at my fist. Blood was running from it and there were sharp pieces of glass poking out of the skin. That blow didn't hurt either. I must have lost all feeling.  
  
I picked out the sharp glass and it bleed more. I re-bandaged my hand and walked over to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes. I fell asleep almost right away.  
  
***Maya's point of view***  
  
Sweat ran down my forehead into my eyes. It hurt, really bad. Almost to bad. I pain to make a poem in my head.  
  
The words echoed in my mind as I finished. Hiei,... I haven't seen your sweet face for three years now...... My poor fire demon. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry....  
  
I couldn't continue like this. One more torture and I would break. I knew it. I just knew...  
  
*~*~*  
  
Is This The End?  
  
In agony my spirit bends, Love has been my fatal end, A steady darkness turns to night, And though I fight with all my might.  
  
Look in my eyes, All you rise, To see this sight, Come, don't cry.  
  
This darkness which I wish to lend, Thousands of years will take to mend, Who will come forth which I can send?  
  
There is a soothing voice where there is no light, Should I try to fight this light? This can't be right. Could I fight?  
  
No candles are lit, And yet you all just sit, Do you give a shit? I think not, you all just go and rot...  
  
Is this the end? Should I defend? Rocks and stones are being hurled, Souls alone are being twirled, The end is near, The end is here... ***********  
  
Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. All In One Tear

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hak... blah blah blah. If you don't know this then your stupid. And I know this is insulting a lot of you. Sorry, a little mean today.  
  
Maya: Ok. More Hiei. More Maya. We all know the story. But this time Maya dies.  
  
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Maya.  
  
The wind blew lightly and my hair went into my face. I was wearing it down for once. I reached inside my pocket because I felt something in it. It was something that was small and round. I pulled it out to find Hina's tear gem. The tear gem Hiei treasured.  
  
I would have to give it back to him. It was important. I was on a mission alone. I was in the Nigenkai. For some reason it wasn't Yusuke's mission. Koenma is getting weirder every day. Though I really can't talk can I. I glanced back at the direction I came.  
  
I didn't tell Hiei I was leaving or where I was going. I had something to give him though. A sword. A katana. It was made with my sweat and I even put my blood and tears in it. The handle was made of gold. It had a silvery tint from my tears and I collected Hiei's tear gems and put them in a ring around the top of the handle.  
  
It was a work of art. Nothing ever could be more beautiful, or at least anything that I made. It would only work right for Hiei and me, since my tears and blood were in it and his tears were on it. Its name was stagger- blood.  
  
I was planning to give Stagger-blood to Hiei on the day we "decided" was his birthday. Christmas. Fifth-teen days away. He would be twenty. Next birthday I would be nineteen.  
  
Oh how he had grown. He now was up to my nose and I am five foot seven. I think that is an improvement. He still was the stubborn idiot I fell in love with. Good. I didn't want him to change.  
  
The air was cold when I breathed it in. The snow was white as pearls and again I thought of my friends, my only family. The last friend of mine was killed when I was seven. I never had another until fifteen. Heck, I knew no one through that period. All I did WAS kill. Not to say I'm disappointed. Everything takes time, and I waited long for the best thing in the world.  
  
When I was a baby, I was switched with a human child. I was a changeling. I learned to ALMOST love there. When I was three, we were driving down the road. It was a wide-open place and no one was around. Perfect for an accident.  
  
Actually, now that I think about it, it was around this time of year. Anyway, we crashed and broke through the line between the nigenkai and the makai. My changeling sister showed. Explained everything and then killed my human foster parents. I fought back and was knocked out. Thankfully she thought I was dead.  
  
For three years I wandered around doing anything to stay alive. Though it was only three years, it felt like a nightmare. I remembered falling asleep every night to the thought that I would die the next morning of starvation or of misery. One day I meet a boy wandering around. He was a year younger than I and was born in the wild.  
  
His parents, which were demons, left him to starve. He never talked much of it. But we could relate. He ended up following me around. We became close and in a couple years, though I was only seven, I loved him. Soon I discovered my powers and started training.  
  
One day I went to get wood for a fire. I came back to the scene of my friend being beaten to death by three drunk fools. I killed one of them and the other two ran leaving their friend to my wrath. I almost feel bad for him. ALMOST.  
  
As soon as I killed him, I came to my friend. His last words were, "I love you..." A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered this.  
  
I trained for a while in solitude. Two years to be exact. I was ten. The pain never died. Soon I meet a group that took me in. They killed for a man. I stayed with them for four years. They kicked me out when I killed half of them with anger. I killed more than two thousand demons and humans in a year. Sad and pathetic.  
  
I trained in solitude for one more year until I meet Yusuke, Kuwbaka, Kurama, and... Hiei. All of my life had been hunted by death. Now I fear Hiei will die. Would God be so mean?  
  
Would he make us suffer when I found happiness? Still, I won't and can't wash the blood from my hands no matter what I do.  
  
I kneeled down and wiped the tears from my eyes.  
  
Maya........? Is... ...that... ...you....?  
  
"What? Who's there?" I asked the atmosphere. The voice was raspy and shaking. It was a girl's voice but deformed and high pitched. It hurt my mind.  
  
...I knewww.......... ...That... ...was..  
you.....  
  
"Who are you?" I questioned. It was more like the voice was in my head.  
  
...Revenge........  
  
...YOU!!!.... ...YOU DID THIS!.....  
  
...........IT IS YOUR FAULT!!!!!!............  
  
"Stop!" I said loudly. The voice was joined by thousands just like it but not as high pitched. They were shouting at me.  
  
.... You!!!!.... ...YOU!!!!....  
  
......DEATH!....... ...YOU MUST DIE!!.......  
  
"STOP! STOP! STOP TALKING TO ME! STOP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed. Strangely enough it hurt. It hurt more than any mortal wound could. "WHO ARE YOU?!"  
  
...WE! Who are you to do this!?....  
  
...You!! ...You must suffer!....  
  
...We are the voices, the spirits... ...Yo..u. ...k...ii ...ll.e..d. .u..s.....  
  
"WHAT?" I SCREAMED. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!" Tears were coming out of my eyes fast. I didn't even know I could cry that much. I shrieked with pain. The last thing I saw was a net going over my head. I couldn't breathe. Everything went black...  
  
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Maya: I know, getting interesting and I stopped it. Not that I wanted to. My mom is making me go to bed because it's a school night. Don't you think I should be able to go to bed anytime I want? I mean, I'm staying awake till eleven anyway. Oh well, not that I can argue. Maya dies in the next chapter, wait......  
  
Dragon Child: What?  
  
Maya: BUT THAT MEANS I DIE!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T DIE!!!!! TO YOUNG!!!!!!!!  
  
Dragon Child: -_-Please review. 


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